I am writing this in east berlin. it is raining softly. the skies, however, look like they are about to clear. there is a hum of traffic from a nearby street. from my balcony I can see four silent staring statues, perched on the roof next to mine, dark with soot.

“I’d rather be second in truth than first in beauty” – Diego Valesquez

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I am crestfallen. And sick. I am staying at an Amsterdam apartment of a friend of mine. I have been sleeping, riding her bike around, smoking.